Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Joba Chamberlain Is Human

My first advice to Joba Chamberlain, stay out of Nebraska. I know it's your hometown and your family and friends live there, but you're so much bigger than the entire state.

Joba, you are the biggest thing to come out of Nebraska since Kool-Aid, Johnny Carson and Warren Buffet. So everytime you come home, your every move is under the microscope.

Since joining the New York Yankees, Joba's annual salary is "only" $390,000, just barley above the league minimum.

With that being said, Joba is an injury or boneheaded move away from his stock plummeting worse than Wall St.

Once Joba signs that $60 million contract, than I'm sure he'll have his own driver, move his entire family to better a place and hang out at more elaborate strip clubs. Um, maybe Scores in NYC.

For anyone who criticizes Joba for being arrested for DUI or being at a strip club is a hypocrite. We've all driven after drinking a few. We've all been to a strip club. I'm sure we've all done both on the same night.

Remember Joba, at 23 years old, is still just a kid. If Joba hadn't been pulled over, the New York tabloids would have never sent writers to Nebraska to dig up more dirt on Joba. Now all the sudden it's a crime Joba goes to local watering holes and ventures to strip clubs with friends.

Of course the tabloids want to find dirt on a young phenom from a small midwest town with a squeaky clean image who had to struggle growing up with a single handicapped parent.

Hey, it's not like Joba drug is girlfriend down a flight of stairs, was ripping zippers on the bar or pulled a Pac Man and shot up the joint. So lay off the guy.

And by the way, you don't need to show up at his sick father's front door to ask questions. Go to Joba himself.

I'm sure Joba has learned his lesson and will probably never show his face in his home state, where for the last two years the guy has been considered a hero.

Anyone from Nebraska knows the only thing to do there is consume large amounts of alcohol and pour your heart and soul out for Cornhusker Football. And also, Nebraska authority has nothing better to do than be "by the book" and arrest people people for petty misdemeanors and meth.

As for the bandwagon Red Sox fan who heckled Joba at the strip club? I'm sure the douchebag has already traded in his Tom Brady jersey for a Titan's Chris Johnson jersey and has his Kevin Garnett jersey hanging in the closet waiting for the NBA to tipoff. The same ass clown probably has saved every newspaper about the Joba incident and will tell his grandkids about it as he takes the biggest highlight of his miserable life to his grave.


notorious DEK said...

Love the pic of Joba hangin at the Zone with DL and Lidell... wonder if he indulged in a few sweltering wings and a glass of wild turkey with Carlito in the kitchen...

Joba's dad is a prick... that fucker thinks he is the mayor of Lincoln... if you ever meet him go ahead and tip him over onto his fat face...

Mac G said...

Tree, you are too much. Joba should spend his off season other than some strip club in Lincoln. Too bad the Royal Grove went belly up.

Oh, Pac Man just made it rain in the night club.

Travis F said...

I totally agree with everything you said on Joba...the poor guy just had some bad luck and it just had to happen in his home town...people love the drama unfortunately! He'll bounce back and no one will remember this in a year or so! keri